FLAT LINE***

Author Alisha Prien

As you know from last weeks blog, life got a little bit hectic with little man. ☹

I found that after last week’s antics, this week was particularly hard to get out of the flat zone. It felt like everything was all too much, and my mind kept racing to “Oh my god, is this my life now…” I struggled for the first time this week to be positive. I was in my head so much that it was getting harder to get out. Whilst I may have managed to create some positive happy moments, it didn’t outweigh the massive bulk of negative seeping in…

There are many times where I’ve dealt with negativity and being stuck in my head, these periods often come when hard times arise involving my son, his health, and my ongoing mum guilt. It doesn’t just come out of nowhere… it builds up overtime. It can start off small like having 6 doctor and therapy appointments squished into one week because that’s they only time they can be available (honestly hate these weeks). It can then move to my daughter having meltdowns, a small argument with my partner, and lack of sleep.

All of this then accumulates to me sitting and dwelling on each of these events in my head like rewatching an episode repeatedly until I have this overwhelming and helpless feeling begin to seep in and so begins a flat line period. I call it a flat line period because I feel flat and like no matter what I do for the next week nothing feels good, positive, and happy.  

How do I get out of this Flat line…?

 It might take until Friday for me to clear all that negative energy but eventually I find my groove again. Some may take a mental health day: rest, and binge watch movies. But for me I feel worse doing things like that, instead I prefer to action; to clean, and put things into place that move myself forward in life (Also not a huge fan of these mental health days… life is hard we got to keep on going). I find surrounding myself with loved ones helps and doing things productive like; making those phone calls instead of avoiding, de-cluttering, and going to the gym. Compassion is another tool that helps push through these times. Having compassion for yourself means: accepting your circumstance and realising that you’re doing the best with what life’s cards dealt you. Have compassion for the mistakes made along the way and have compassion for yourself as a person, who you are and how far you’ve come from where you began.

I mean wholly crap! :0

Some of us have been through hell and back with our Disabled kids. My god my Boy wasn’t even supposed to survive the virus he had. He’s lucky to be alive. I remember having to give him Chemo medicine when he was just 3 weeks old to kill off the virus still in his system (How F***ed is that) I couldn’t touch him or feed him after the medicine for 10 minutes, and so I had to endure for 6 months a screaming hungry baby on Chemo.

I could go on with the Shit I’ve been through, but then we would have to make a documentary on it, and let’s be honest that’s saved for another Blog further down the track.

So I guess what I’m saying from all of this ramble, is that appreciate how far you’ve come, these times may appear worse than what they actually are and more often than not are an accumulation of small things placed in our brain to make one big negative ball (not all is as bad as it seems when you break it down).It may take a week, but time heals, it doesn’t fix, but it heals the pain, eventually the more time you practice putting things into action and have compassion, the more the hard times feel less and less dark. <3