Waves of Happiness
Man what a week…
Little dude has been sick all week. These are the times I dread the most. These are the times there is little to no sleep, emotions are high, Irritability grows, and there is less patience and time for the older two children. Moreover, is the mum guilt associated with the neglect in meeting the rest of the family’s needs during this time (Honestly this mum guilt crap is starting to become a daily habit). To spice it up a bit my 7-year-old daughter also decided this was the week all control of emotions and behaviour went out the window and so the two of us were clashing like crazy.
Don’t worry its not all bad. For the moments of no sleep…
well at least that part wasn’t the greatest and probably the one I struggle with most, so no positive for that feeling... 😉But for the most part I decided that this was going to be a week where I just had to accept that this wasn’t going to a period where I would get a lot of time to myself. Spencer needed me for cuddles, Meelah needed me for emotional regulation, and Elijah needed me for worry time. Basically, I had to get my “shit together”. There was no time to feel sorry for myself, no time to sit around and cry (at least that part can wait till the kids are asleep and I’m in the shower), there is only time to “action” and make this week go by as smoothly as possible…
How did I do this you might ask?
A lot of patience, support and accepting of help when I needed it (Thanks Babe <3). I find that during these times; routine, structure and consistency are particularly important in maintaining a calm/ as normal as possible atmosphere. Something until I met my partner, I wasn’t the greatest at… This came to be especially important for my daughter who, at the moment is learning to work through a lot of overwhelming emotions. I’ve come to realise that the only way to overcome the misery of a tough week is to put things to action.
I Began each morning with a hug, and at least a nice breaky, or chat with the kids and my partner. I took the time, even if for just half an hour each day, to have a coffee and chat with my Partner with no kids around. Every opportunity I had I took advantage of to create my own periods of happiness during this difficult time. Spencer received a lot more attention than the others this week, but the others knew why and accepted it. I still did my best to give them the attention where I could. It is never an equal amount of attention given when you have a child with High needs, but to the best of my ability, I set aside time for my other kids and partner always.
I find it’s really the small things that help to keep us sane. Any small chance to have a moment of light during the dark I try to create. You have to create it, otherwise the light won’t come. You have to take the opportunity for positive where you can, enjoy the moments of happy and embrace the moments of dark, it is all temporary and it will change again next week, especially when you have a child with high needs! (Unpredictable…)
Nothing is permanent, so enjoy each chance you get to create your happy. 😊
