A PLACE OF SANCTUARY***
By Author Alisha Prien
These last couple weeks have been a blur…
Spencer has just started special school, and boy has it been hectic. There were nonstop calls from therapists (OT, Physio, Speech, Dietician), the school nurse, principal and his teacher, all trying to make ends meet to get the school equipped to meet Spencer’s needs. In case you didn’t know, Spencer classifies as high needs and is fully reliant on us 24/7 to feed, go to the toilet, and be his body all day long, it’s a lot… He requires a lot of energy and time most days. Its days like these, where I feel totally and utterly consumed by my son’s disability and become mentally exhausted, left with my cup empty and barley enough energy to share with the rest of the household, let alone myself.
I honestly didn’t realise how hard it would be with Spencer compared to the other two kids, when it comes to the transition of school. It’s been a challenge and a half. Spency definitely struggles with full days of school, some days his body just can’t take it, and I have to cut school short to half days. This is my daily reality check that I have a child with high needs, which can take constant demand and time. It’s during these times I’m so grateful for help, and grateful for even 5 minutes where I have a moment to breathe. Having a child with high needs can become consuming at times, and I often have to remind myself I have a life outside of my sons disability , even though it may not feel like it a lot of the time.
I think it’s important as parents of not just special needs, but kids in general to have something outside of our children, a hobby of sorts. Even a simple daily walk alone can make a difference, a moment to breathe. Don’t feel guilty for wanting these moments as it’s what keeps you sane. Having a hobby outside of the children keeps perspective on who you are, a solid sense of self. For me, I have always had the gym as my sanctuary place. It is something I have always been passionate about and loved doing even before I had my children. The gym is the one thing I have outside of my children that makes me feel more like me. Just Alisha going to the gym, doing her thing. Not mum Alisha taking the kids to sport, or Carer Alisha making sure Spencer goes to all his hospital and therapy appointments, just Alisha…
It’s a juggling act to say the least when it comes to being a parent, working on a business, and being a full-time carer. It’s so easy to get lost in these busy times and forget who we are, or what makes us feel more like us. Take a moment to breathe… find a hobby that you love and make it your place of sanctuary. Make it a place where no other parts of your life can interfere during this time of sanctuary. Its so important as parents to provide a safe place to breathe and remember who you were and still are before kids and life became a thing… This is the glue that holds the rest of your life together… The person you are separate from all the other versions you play 24/7 in life, still exists and deserves time and love. <3