Waiting for the Rainbow…

Author- Alisha Prien

This week Spencer is having his first at home respite!

I know he will be safe and sound with his carers, but it's always nerve racking as a mum. It’s probably more so that mum guilt kicking in...I know he will be fine because his carers have been with him since he was one, so they know everything there is to know about the little dude. 

I think this year will be one of those years where the fam and I are just on cruise control, just getting through each day at a time... I'm still waiting to hear back from surgeons on what they can do to fix me. In the meantime, the symptoms continue, and I'm so scared eventually my body will just cave. I've already been to hospital twice now. The frustrating part is you would think the doctors would be all for early intervention, as they so often promote it for my son. Apparently, this doesn't apply to the rest of us. The scariest part is that the longer the issue is left the longer the symptoms cause damage. 

I bet you are wondering "how the hell are you meant to remain calm and positive with all this happening in the background!"...

Honestly, I have no idea. I'm Just taking each day as it comes. If I get a good day without pain or sickness, then that's a win! On this 'good' day I take full advantage of doing productive tasks. On the bad days I just accept that not as much can be done. I’m not one to let pain beat me. The biggest killer at the moment is not being able to train at the gym as much, and those who know me best, know this is a real struggle for me. The gym and training have been a massive part of my life and a big part of my mental stress relief.  If anything, at the moment the kids smiles and getting that warm-loving glance from Spencer is enough to melt away some of the stress and pain...

Some people say 'You get what you can cope with' well gosh I must be able to cope a lot... Others say ‘Just stay positive’

Honestly, positivity is hard, I often don't wake up feeling positive first thing in the morning, I have to conjure it up throughout the day. I find practicing gratitude helps. Just finding small things to be grateful for every day, like waking up to a sunny day 🙌 or being able to enjoy that morning coffee with a roof over your head and loving people. 

I'm sure after this is all over there will be a pot of gold and rainbow waiting for me and many others who are struggling at the moment… 🌈