***SUCCESSFUL ILLUSIONS

Author- Alisha Prien

Jordan Peterson once said, “Perhaps you are overvaluing what you don’t have and undervaluing what you do”…

I accepted a long time ago that the career and life I thought I would have, was not in the cards for me. This realisation came quite quickly after my son was born.

I fought long and hard to be something I thought I should be, have a career, study, work. Every time I thought I was almost there; each one fell through. There was always something unexpected that would happen… a hospital trip, doctors’ appointment, weekly therapist appointments, kids’ dad-Relationship breakdown. Perhaps it was the final words from someone in my past that has left the scar that bears the illusion of success… “You are not going anywhere, you are just a stay-at-home mum with no success behind you, I need someone with more” …

 I thought having a career and being someone big and important, is what being successful meant in life. I realise now that is what society deems is successful, what social media and its influences flood our heads with, constantly bomb-barding us with falsified illusions of success, money, and fame.

What does it really mean to be successful?

I have struggled with this concept for such a long time. Often, I still find myself thinking well I don’t have a fancy career, I’m not rich, or independent like the feminists of the world tell women we should be. I’ve recently had to come to terms with a lot of things in my life, one of them being a permanent carer for my son. Spencers disability isn’t going to disappear anytime soon and in fact if anything its only going to get harder the older he gets.

This year I stopped fighting against the inevitable and finally gave in… If I can’t be successful in a career, than I will be successful in other aspects of my life. I will be the most successful mother ever and dedicate my time to helping my kids peruse their dreams. I will be the most successful homemaker ever by creating a tidy and safe place for my man to come home to after working away. I will make a home my kids can be proud of, knowing that each day from school there is always yummy snacks awaiting their return and fresh clean clothes on their beds. I will be the most successful friend, Daughter, and Granddaughter I can be by making time and putting in the effort for those who have had the most significance in my life.  Lastly, I will be the most successful partner I can be. One who is loving, supportive and considerate of her man and his needs.

So, what does success really mean? It means being your best at something. It means putting all your efforts and time into things that bring purpose to you and those around you… Success doesn’t have to mean being rich and having a fancy career. You can be successful even in the smallest of tasks. It can be simply perfecting the best coffee or working towards being the best garbage truck man around town. You all know that K-mart guy in Cairns Central… why is he so successful? Because he chose to put all his efforts and time into being the best door greeter ever. Success can be anything you want it to be, with time, effort and sacrifice comes reward and purpose.  Once again Jordan Peterson says it best… “Pursue what is meaningful, not what is expedient”.

*For me, my greatest success is having created a family that is united and remains intact even through the toughest of storms…